I have to remind myself to breathe a little bit right now because we have officially finished the next major step towards publication of Falling For Mr. Darcy! The cover art is finished. Now, we go to formatting where they will put the manuscript and cover art together in one big send-me-to-the-printers file and then BAM! we have a book. My book! Yahoo! So. Freakin'. Excited.
I haven't blogged in quite a while. Part of the reason is I feel like I have the same things that I write about over and over because they are the same issues that are on my mind. I cant seem to shake this Im-a-mom-and-I-worry thing. On top of this I feel like my days recently have been so jam packed that there are times that I realize the next day that I didn't even get a chance to tell Andrew something cool or important that happened to me the day before.
Last week I had the opportunity to plan the spiritual program for the Relief Society birthday celebration. I was assigned a month or so ago and even though I am not on the enrichment committee, they put me in charge of it. I admit, for several weeks I didn't worry too much about it but as the time grew near and I began to put things together, I had such a surge of ideas that it made it so that I was quite busy the two weeks before the event. Then I woke up on the day of and panicked, worried that I had not really done enough to make it a good program. Part of the program featured a gentleman from our ward dressing as Joseph Smith (complete with cravat, waist and tail coat) and saying a small speech. Throughout the process of looking for a quote for him to say, I had to read many many different things Joseph Smith wrote. His letters to Emma and Journal entries were my favorite. He had such a tender love for his wife and a passionate testimony and love for the people of the church. It was a really neat experience for me to feel like I got to know him a bit better as a person.
My life has been so blessed recently even though I feel like my days are speeding by so quickly I haven't a chance to breathe. Charlotte is doing so well and is such a wonderful addition to our family. We love her so much. She is such a testament to the good parenting of her Mom and Dad. Really. I mean there are too many kids these days with lousy parents and the kids turn out to be wasteful sloths with no good judgement. Charlotte has none of that. We feel so lucky to have her in our home.
Lyman is Lyman. ::sigh:: That kid seriously burns my brain cells. He tries my patience, purposely disregards what he is told and then does something completely redeeming like giving me a surprise snuggle so that in the end I cant get myself to place him on the top of the driveway with a note "Free child" like I sometimes feel like doing.
Corilynn is also occasionally a brain cell burner. She is the big kid at home these days with Ruby and so sometimes I find myself surprised with how much that means they get into things they shouldn't. Corilynn should know better but Ruby does not. But they are best buddies and I love that she takes great care of her little sister. Ruby has learned to talk in a high pitched voice for her animals like Corilynn does and is happily her little companion for most of the day. The other night Corilynn woke up from a bad dream and woke up Ruby too and together at 2:30 am they came skipping to my bedside. When I asked Corilynn why they were awake she said it was because she had a bad dream. So I asked why did she wake up Ruby then. She said, "because I didn't want her to cry and be afraid when I left the room." Errrrggggh. I tried to explain that in all likelihood Ruby would have slept right through and not noticed her absence one bit. Then I trotted them both back to bed.
Ruby...well, Ruby, I am afraid is likely going to be one I blog about a lot in the coming years. I have never encountered a kid so sweet, so adorable and so exasperating (!!!) as Ruby. I am afraid for what the years will bring. She has a temper like no other and so it seems her name fits her quite well. It takes a lot of heat and pressure to make a Ruby and they are red and so is her temper - ruby red hot!
My book- ohh man! We are almost finished with the cover and when that is done, it is only a matter of a few weeks, I think. It looks so good and I am so stoked for it. Unfortunately, being 90% done and having your graphic design artist move states at this point means 90% stays at 90% until she can get settled again. I am having fun though because my sister has decided to re-read my two books (Did I ever mention I wrote another variation?) and she has called me every time she hit a favorite part which must about makes my day. We have a good laugh and romantic giggle together and it makes me happy.
Well, today is supposed to be sunny (the sun does occasionally visit Ohio) and near 70 and I have promised the kids a trip to the park so I better toddle off to shower. Freaking out does not even begin to describe their excitement. Ohhh grey Ohio skies - please go away so we can have spring soon!
I wanted to post most of this yesterday but I couldn't get my desktop to load blogger. Rats! Luckily, the laptop is doing its job.
I wanted to post something about civility and chivalry. I think a lot of times there is much too little of either of these things displayed in the world today. People are just not polite to one another and because of this, I think we have lost something quite innately good about us. On Tuesday I experienced being the recipient of both civility and chivalry and it was so nice. Unfortunately I was so unused to it that I found myself feeling embarrassed by it just the same. (How sad is that?)
On Tuesday, a day after the deadly shootings in an Ohio high school an hour from us, Charlotte's school received a bomb threat taped to a bathroom wall. Thankfully, although it was a prank and there was no bomb found after a thorough search of the entire school and parking lot, the administrators acted with wisdom and evacuated the students to a nearby stadium. We received prerecorded voicemail phone calls telling us we could pick up our students there if we wished or they could wait a couple of hours until they were released to the buses.
I decided to pick Charlotte up. Because I was not thinking, and because I had no prior experience to glean from, I thought it would not be any more complicated then pulling up to the sidewalk near the stadium, handing them my picture ID and walking out with her. So I just threw the kids in the car, without worrying if they had coats on. The day was pleasant, sunny but a bit chilly when the wind blew. When I got to the parking lot, it was pretty full and cars were moving in and out easily. I found a spot as soon as I saw how wrongly I had judged the situation.
There was a PEOPLE line about 700 feet long at least and that was the queue for picking up your kids. So I had to get the kids out of the car after all. Unfortunately, when I got them out of the car I noticed neither Ruby or Corilynn had shoes on - nope - or coats. I looked at them and I looked at the line behind me and I looked down at the unpaved parking lot that was one big squishy mud slab. I felt my Mother of the Year chances getting ground into that honey brown slush under my feet.
Well, there was nothing I could do but put one kid on my back and one in front and hope all of us hold on tightly and that the line that was currently not moving, began to move soon. I got to the back of the line and after staying in one place for 10 minutes (my arms are killing me already and I am a billion miles from the entrance) I realize that this is going to be a LONG afternoon. I mean, what was I thinking? That I was going to be the only parent to decide to pick up their kids in a school with 2000+ kids? I could have kicked myself, if I wasn't worried about falling over into the mud with two kids on me like I was some African tribal woman.
Here is where the civility and chivalry comes in. One lady offers to hold one of my kids. It was so kind of her and I readily handed one to her. I thought, I can hold one nearly indefinitely but two was going to simultaneously choke and exhaust me. Unfortunately after only 5 minutes the line began to move quickly. Unfortunately - because it was only moving because they were splitting the line into two groups according to last name. Unfortunately still, because my Ruby holder was going off to the other line. Sigh. So I was back to the tribal woman.
After another 20 minutes, my body protested enough that I let Corilynn down off my back and decided to suck up the embarrassment of having her standing in the mud, barefoot and coat less, next to me (by the way I had shoes and a coat on - yeah double points for the "I look like a totally amateur mom" contest.)
I may feel a lot older than I am (and look it too) but I know I do not look old enough to have a teenager. I mean I hope I don't. So then I was doubly conscious of the fact that I have two kids barefoot and without coats, and I am in line to pick up a child from HS! So to ease my embarrassment I made sure to make as many comments as possible to everyone within hearing range that I was picking up my exchange student (phew! Now they know I was not 11 when I had her) and that I was silly enough to think I could just pull up and get her and so I didn't worry about what the other kids were wearing (or not wearing).
A nice man in line ahead of me then offered his coat to Corilynn (who happened to mention being cold - great!) and then he offered to hold her. I felt so embarrassed but thankful for his kindness. I also felt so fearful for the cleanliness of his pants as I saw her dangling, mud caked feet swinging precariously near them. He held her despite showing obvious back discomfort for 20 minutes until we got further in the line and the ground was paved.
All in all, we picked Charlotte up successfully and quickly made our getaway without much more embarrassment but I am thankful today for those two individuals who kindly came to a lady's (questionable) aid (stupidity) without judgment and scorn (at least not verbalized).
I wish there were more people who would go out of their way for strangers and help them when they see a need. We need not feel embarrassed (cause they are probably feeling plenty for the both of us) and the world would be a far better place if more of us showed kindness to one another.
Yesterday I had such a wonderful experience of feeling a special love for each of my kids. It was as if I was being reminded just how special each of them are to me. I am so thankful for these moments yesterday.
The first was when I was laying down with Ruby for her nap. I have mixed feelings about this new development with her. I never allowed my kids to need snuggled, rocked or sung to sleep. I always loved on them and then put them down and they fell asleep by themselves without protest. Ruby still does this at night but during the day she has learned to open her bedroom door and come out (repeatedly). If I offer to snuggle her (such a chore! jk) she falls asleep in 2 minutes flat, but if I put her down, she comes out a few times and we both get frustrated. So, although I hate that she requires me there to fall asleep now, I have to content myself with the fact that its not that she cannot fall asleep without me, it is just that she WILL not and I am saving both of us a whole lot of contention with eachother this way. I also cannot say that I dont love getting a few minutes peace and quiet as I snuggle the sweetest little two year old known to man (when she is sleeping). Yesterday, as I lay next to her, pretending to sleep, I decided to peek at her when I thought it was safe. There she was, sleeping like an angel and I just felt so thankful that she is my child and I loved her so much at that moment.
For Corilynn, my moment of love for her came when I went to her preschool evaluation parent conference. I didnt expect to have any surprises, I know she knows her stuff, and I did not get any surprises. She does know her stuff - go Corilynn! But what they said about her really warmed my heart. They said she was the happiest little girl they had taught ever and they wished more kids would be as happy as she is. They say she is content, and pleased with everything around her. Her happiness is displayed even in the way she walks - or doesnt walk. Instead of walking anywhere, our little Corilynn, has a little prance, skipping kind of walk, like a little dancing fairy. She has the sweetest observations about life and is always so grateful for everything. The teachers only concern months ago was that she doesnt talk much, she just observes and listens. They say that she talks a lot more now, but never at inappropriate times. I felt so much love for her as I listened to them talk about her many lovely personality characteristics and although nothing was new to me, as I get the pleasure of living with her everyday, it was wonderful to hear her so well appreciated.
My moment for Lyman was as I was getting the kids ready for bed. The chances I have as a mother to get any kind of physical affection from my seven year old moms-a-girl-and-girls-are-gross are rare and priceless. I can steal hugs, holding him as he tries desperately to avoid my yucky kiss on his cheek and I can ask till I am blue in the face about his day at school - but it usually amounts to grunts and shrugs. I am told this form of primitive communication is likely to continue into his late teens. But sometimes...sometimes... he will quietly come up and sit next to me on the couch. Usually if I do not call attention to it, and maintain a quiet stillness (not unlike when you are trying to coax a wild animal not to flee from your presence) he will stay and I can feel his body next to mine. At those times, I wish I could wrap my arm around him (in some cases, I successfully do) and snuggle into him. But I am content with the side snuggle, especially when he intiates it. Last night, he came to me and sat right next to me on the couch (there was lots of space elsewhere :)!!!!!) So, I downloaded a favorite book from my childhood onto the kindle in my hands (dont ruin the moment by getting up and getting a book, you ninny!) and started to read to him. He sat there quietly and listened. Then we found a stopping point (its a chapter book, so it will take us some time to finish) and we talked about the plot so far. Then we went up to ready for bed. I was sitting on the floor in one of their rooms, after having put Ruby's pjs on AGAIN (the kid will not stay dressed - little nudist) and along comes my little spooked wild animal. Slowly he climbs onto my lap and I smile. Desperate to prolong the moment, I reach inside his shirt and scratch his back the way I know he loves. And then it happens. We talk. About his day, about Dad, about Grandpas, about whatever. And I know... I know I love him more than anything.
I am thankful that the gospel is a gospel for families and that if lived worthily, our every minute of our lives can be fulfilling and happy. And our families can be together forever.
There have been many instances in the past week where I have felt so blessed by the gospel. I have had decisions that could have been difficult, made easy by looking for the answers within the doctrines of the gospel. I have become aware of times I have avoided difficult problems in my life because of my adherence to those doctrines. I am thankful that the whole point of this life is to be tested, become more like Him and to have families. Is there any greater legacy than these things?
Happy Valentine's Day!
Once upon a time the most romantic gift was given to me. It was a blank book with nothing on the pages. There were no words, no pictures, it was absolutely empty. It was romantic because it symbolized a promise. The promise was that every year on Valentine's Day, my husband would write on one of the pages to me. He would write to me a love note. And when the book was finally filled on every page, no longer empty, I would have a book of love notes through the years. It is one of my favorite things to look forward to each year and I love reading through the other years as well. Here is a piece of the lovely note I received this year.
"It is really exciting for me to be planning our 10 year honeymoon to England with you right now. I think it's a little like how our relationship is: we have the same dream, it's beautiful and special and exciting and it's filled with high hopes, with what will become lots of great memories."
I think today's thankful Thursday needs to be about the book. It is going to sound really self-congratulatory on my part but FREAK I am getting excited about this thing. I feel as if I have been so blessed with this thing. I mean writing it started as just a fun experiment for my friends and I. I never imagined it go this far and I am utterly humbled by the whole of it. Okay, so here is a bit of an update on why I am so excited:
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| Note: Not actual cover art, just temporary one. |
