Thankful Thursday

I have yet to miss a Thankful Thursday since I started this blog and even though it is later in the day that I usually post - I have not forgotten today.

Today I am thankful for my parents for giving me such a good childhood. There are a lot of things they did and didn't do that I think made it a good childhood. They didn't always indulge in whatever I might want which at the time made me feel a little less thankful than I am today but what it does mean for me is that I grew up being grateful for what I had and also working for the things I wanted that I didn't have. When you have to work for something you want it makes it easy to prioritize the things in life that are more important to work for. Part of the parenting that I think benefited me a lot is that my parents didn't dive in and save me every time I had a bruised knee or broken heart. They were not disconnected to me and they were affectionate but they allowed me to work through the pain as silent supporters which made it so that even from a young age I grew up confident enough to know that I could make it through anything even if I had to do it alone. I don't ever remember being afraid of the dark or needing to be coddled every time I got hurt. Sometimes I think this makes me a mother that doesn't always jump up when my kids fall down - because I want them to know they can pick themselves up but that I am here always for them. I always felt my parents love and never doubted that but I learned to pick myself up.

I am thankful that my parents created a stable home environment. They had rules that we were required to follow and I remember that "as long as I lived under this roof" yadda yadda yadda. The rules set stability and an easy scapegoat whenever I needed to say no to friends who wanted me to do something I shouldn't. It was a house rule - I could defer to my mean old parents. Sometimes I think that these days people think they need to be their teenager's best friend and not their parent. Although I do think a little of both is important especially in the type of world we grow up in - it doesn't hurt your child to be their parent every once and a while even if that doesn't make you very popular with your children. I remember once yelling at my Mom about how "mean" she was and she said, (like she always did at those times - and it just errked me to no end) "Thats ok, mean Moms make good kids." She could have caved and been a "best friend" then and tried to be nice because she probably didn't like being considered "mean" but she didn't - she was stable and strong and was probably telling herself as much as she was making the statement to me.

They called a spade a spade. Whenever any of us kids were acting out and being disrespectful to either sibling or parent - they called us on it. There was no justifying that it was "our personality" or that we were probably in a bad mood, or stressed from school. There was never any excuse to cheat, disrespect or demean anyone. It doesn't matter what day you had or how much you had on your plate. There is no excuse. I see too many people making excuses for people who need to just be shaken and told "quit it".

They taught me the value of sticking together. I remember a family home evening once where my dad and mom were trying to teach us the principle that our actions on earth would effect our future happiness after this life. They made this point by having each child come to them in the end as if coming to judgement with God and they explained to each of the kids various things they did right and wrong in "life" and granted them where they would go now - essentially heaven or hell. I remember everyone was going to be in heaven and then it came to me and I was quite young - still very innocent and my father broke up as he told me how sorry he was that I had made some bad choices in my fictional "life" and that I would not be able to join my family in Heaven but would instead have to go another way. I remember how much this upset everyone in the family - of course me the most. After all this I was invited back to the family and we were told how important it was that we all stood up for each other and helped each other make good choices. It was important that we all "make it" and the punch phrase that has stuck with the family since " there be no empty seats" in heaven. We are in this together is what I learned. Since then it has been soo important to me that I remain close to my siblings and also that I raise my kids to love each other unconditionally and for always. Everyone is to do their part and strengthen one another.

I am thankful today for good parents who did their best and sometimes made mistakes. I hope that I can be one of those parents that does their best and despite a few mistakes - teaches my kids the same confidence, respect of others, stability and togetherness that my parents gave me. Hip Hip Hooray for Ron and Patsy.