No Vacancy Up Top

I know it is going to sound utterly stupid but sometimes I think to myself "what is on my mind?"  I know, right?  I mean why am I asking myself about what it is that I am thinking about.  Okay, circular logic behind me now.  Here are the things that have kept occupying my mind lately.

My kids, obviously.  Sometimes I wonder and worry about them and their various issues.  Lyman is a super smart kid and I love him to bits.  Sometimes his intelligence intimidates me because I know someday (and not too far off in the future) he is going to know way more than me.  I'm not worried exactly that he is smarter than me because I know he is.  But ultimately somehow I worry that it will make it difficult for him to see the value in the things that I do know - what is really important in life and how he can become a valuable person not just a valuable mind.  I also worry that he is too much like the both of us.  He has Andrew's way of thinking (and abundance of brain cells) - which should do him great good if he can only manage my side of his genetics.  He is far too social and loves to entertain people.  This means that in school, although he is performing significantly above his peers, his reports say he does not stay on task or use his time wisely.  Why? Because he is busy entertaining his friends while they do their work.  He is a great favorites at school for which I am glad but it still worries me.  You would think that seeing yourself in your kids would be gratifying but in this case, I rather wish he could put off being so social - at least until his work is done.

I worry about Corilynn because I cannot seem to motivate the girl to leave off with having accidents of both types and she is five.  I would like to say that my concern for her stems from wanting her to succeed in this area but really if I am being honest -  I want her to stop having accidents because it embarrasses me that I have a five year old that still wets and soils her pants occasionally.  I am terrified really that she will get to kindergarten (in just a few short months!!) and still have these issues.  I feel like a terrible person and mother for thinking of myself and my own embarrassment in this.  I have tried everything and the fact of the matter is that she simply doesn't care - it doesn't bother her.  You can all leave messages with encouragement, advice and the like and the fact is - Ive tried it all and she really doesn't care.  Until such a time that she finds it is important to her - I have to accept that it will not change.  Thankfully it is not everyday or really that regularly but it is regularly enough to be on my mind.  Furthermore, part of me does worry about her sweet little tender heart becoming embarrassed at school if it happens there.  She is not like Lyman (who seems to be able to let things roll off his back) she is tender and good natured and thinks no ill of anyone.  I hate to think she may be made fun of and have this rosy vision of the world around her be shaken.

Ruby - I don't worry much about her - she is still too young to give me much grief except for the two year old tantrums.  Though occasionally I do worry about how little she eats at times.  She is just such a tiny little thing but getting her to eat is occasionally a monumental task.

Another thing on my mind is the progress of my book.  For many months before Christmas we were working feverishly on the editing.  Back and forth we sent the chapters to each other (my editor, Gail and I) until each chapter was as perfect as we could wish it.  Then when all twenty were finished we sent the entire manuscript back and forth almost 10 times.  It was a flurry of activity and excitement.  The improvements to the book were amazing and still the book remained my own work.  It was a process I thoroughly enjoyed  because I was active, busy and watching my own work become something beautiful.  When we finally finished the editing we handed it off to the second editor.  It will be looked over by her to see if we might have missed anything.  She also happens to be my cover artist.  That was late December.  It is now nearly February and I am told I am in queue to start the cover art.  Being in queue sort of stinks, if you ask my opinion.  It means I went from a whirlwind of activity and excitement to cooling my heels doing nothing without any idea as to when we might start work again.  When the cover artist is ready for me, we will begin work on the cover.  Until that time I have to wait.  I am finding that publishing a book is the most exciting and boring thing in the world.  It takes much longer than you expect.

Okay, I think I have nearly emptied my cranium.  But one more thing - I have been thinking a lot on my upcoming anniversary in August.  Andy and I will be celebrating ten years together.  10 YEARS!  We have been saving up money for a couple of years now to do something really big with it.  We wanted to go to England and we may still but the Olympics this summer is a little off putting for us.  Nothing like celebrating your love in what could possibly a world target for terrorism.  So we have thought about a cruise of the Mediterranean.  Nothing like celebrating your love Titanic style either.  Hhmph!  We do not know what we will do but it is rather exciting to dream a little about it.  Maybe we will go somewhere really exciting like... Detroit.