Thankful Thursday

Yesterday I had such a wonderful experience of feeling a special love for each of my kids.  It was as if I was being reminded just how special each of them are to me.  I am so thankful for these moments yesterday.

The first was when I was laying down with Ruby for her nap.  I have mixed feelings about this new development with her.  I never allowed my kids to need snuggled, rocked or sung to sleep.  I always loved on them and then put them down and they fell asleep by themselves without protest.  Ruby still does this at night but during the day she has learned to open her bedroom door and come out (repeatedly).  If I offer to snuggle her (such a chore! jk) she falls asleep in 2 minutes flat, but if I put her down, she comes out a few times and we both get frustrated.  So, although I hate that she requires me there to fall asleep now, I have to content myself with the fact that its not that she cannot fall asleep without me, it is just that she WILL not and I am saving both of us a whole lot of contention with eachother this way.  I also cannot say that I dont love getting a few minutes peace and quiet as I snuggle the sweetest little two year old known to man (when she is sleeping).  Yesterday, as I lay next to her, pretending to sleep, I decided to peek at her when I thought it was safe.  There she was, sleeping like an angel and I just felt so thankful that she is my child and I loved her so much at that moment.

For Corilynn, my moment of love for her came when I went to her preschool evaluation parent conference.  I didnt expect to have any surprises, I know she knows her stuff, and I did not get any surprises.  She does know her stuff - go Corilynn!  But what they said about her really warmed my heart.  They said she was the happiest little girl they had taught ever and they wished more kids would be as happy as she is.  They say she is content, and pleased with everything around her.  Her happiness is displayed even in the way she walks - or doesnt walk.  Instead of walking anywhere, our little Corilynn, has a little prance, skipping kind of walk, like a little dancing fairy.  She has the sweetest observations about life and is always so grateful for everything.   The teachers only concern months ago was that she doesnt talk much, she just observes and listens.  They say that she talks a lot more now, but never at inappropriate times.  I felt so much love for her as I listened to them talk about her many lovely personality characteristics and although nothing was new to me, as I get the pleasure of living with her everyday, it was wonderful to hear her so well appreciated. 

My moment for Lyman was as I was getting the kids ready for bed.  The chances I have as a mother to get any kind of physical affection from my seven year old moms-a-girl-and-girls-are-gross are rare and priceless.  I can steal hugs, holding him as he tries desperately to avoid my yucky kiss on his cheek and I can ask till I am blue in the face about his day at school - but it usually amounts to grunts and shrugs.  I am told this form of primitive communication is likely to continue into his late teens.  But sometimes...sometimes... he will quietly come up and sit next to me on the couch.  Usually if I do not call attention to it, and maintain a quiet stillness (not unlike when you are trying to coax a wild animal not to flee from your presence) he will stay and I can feel his body next to mine.  At those times, I wish I could wrap my arm around him (in some cases, I successfully do) and snuggle into him.  But I am content with the side snuggle, especially when he intiates it.  Last night, he came to me and sat right next to me on the couch (there was lots of space elsewhere :)!!!!!)  So, I downloaded a favorite book from my childhood onto the kindle in my hands (dont ruin the moment by getting up and getting a book, you ninny!) and started to read to him.  He sat there quietly and listened.  Then we found a stopping point (its a chapter book, so it will take us some time to finish) and we talked about the plot so far.  Then we went up to ready for bed.   I was sitting on the floor in one of their rooms, after having put Ruby's pjs on AGAIN (the kid will not stay dressed - little nudist) and along comes my little spooked wild animal.  Slowly he climbs onto my lap and I smile.  Desperate to prolong the moment, I reach inside his shirt and scratch his back the way I know he loves.  And then it happens.  We talk.  About his day, about Dad, about Grandpas, about whatever.  And I know... I know I love him more than anything.