Church Widow

First off, I hate that term.  It implies that my husband is not in my life anymore due to his new calling at church.  Gone he is a lot, but he is definitely still present in our lives.  Andy was called a little over a month ago in to the bishopric in our ward.  Although some of the time demands are not different from his previous calling, this one is making him gone more. 

I am and always have been an Andy hoarder.  I love my time with him, cant get enough and don't like to share it much.  When we are on vacation I want to spend as much time with him as possible.  When he is at home I want to be doing things with him even if it means I am sitting outside on the porch just watching him mow the lawn.  I usually get very frustrated when things take him away from home very much - working OT, traveling for work, callings etc.  I'm selfish that way - I like him around to help me with the kids and sit next to me while I watch a show on TV. 

This calling has meant that every Sunday as essentially become an Andy Mirage day.  Where I can see him at a distance (upon the stand, talking to someone etc) but he is almost unreachable.  Ha ha ha - today was literally like a mirage cause I would see him, try to walk to him to give him something or tell him something and get side tracked by one of my billion children and look up and he is gone.  It was sort of funny.  He is off to meetings early, at various Sunday School classes during church, on the stand during Sacrament meeting and busy after church.  Tonight he had a baptism to attend to, a youth fireside and a few other things. 

I have not felt neglected by his increased absence.  I haven't felt jealous, or frustrated at being left to fend for myself against the throngs of children in our house.  I haven't felt any of the irritations I have felt with various other callings or work related tasks that have taken him away from me.  I cant explain it other than that I know that God is supporting me and allowing me to manage the tasks I have to.  I hope this feeling lasts since I know this isn't a temporary calling.  More than likely we are looking at several years.  I keep wondering if I will break down and wish it would end but so far I just love seeing Andy grow from having to be more out there socially and having to address the needs of the ward.  He looks so in his element which is surprising to both of us.  Neither of us would have thought it would be so natural for him to serve and interact with so many people.

That isn't to say that it isn't hard on me.  I wake up alone on Sunday, get the kids up alone, drive to church alone, sit alone, drive home alone, feed the kids alone, hopefully get a short break when Andy gets home at around 3pm, and then often times am alone during the evening hours as he is swept away to something else, then I put the kids to bed alone......The day is a lot of alone.  Even so, just because something is hard doesn't mean it's impossible.  Ha ha, though I do think I can really relate to Elastigirl better now and I can feel myself being stretched in many tiny directions.

Onward we go, I suppose.