2:13 AM

I love it when occasionally your kids reward you with some sort of token of their love and remind you that you still a) love them and b)are doing an okay job with them in turning them into decent people.

Last night at 2:13 am Lyman shows up at my side of the bed. Now he never comes to my side of the bed which is a curse and a blessing. A curse because he usually always shows a preference for his Dad in all things and mid-night visits just remind me of that sometimes - its cool though. A blessing because then I don't have to get up with him at those mid-night visits which usually are because he needs to go to the bathroom and in his sleep filled mind he doesn't remember either how or where to go for it and wants help.

But last night he came to me. I remember being touched gently on my shoulder and looking at the clock then at my little boy next to the bed. I asked him what he needed and he said he wanted to snuggle. I let him climb up with me in bed and we snuggled for about 30 minutes. The whole time I didn't want to fall asleep because how often do I get to keep my little 4 yr old boy in a hug for that long without his desperate attempts to free himself from my hug prison? Not very often. So I relished every minute of it and prayed to my Heavenly Father with gratitude for this moment and for my darling little boy. It was so nice just to hold him and I thought of how quickly he grew from when he was just a newborn and I would snuggle him the same way at night. I remembered how I was willing to be awake with him at night then even just to watch him sleep and how I will always be willing to be up at 2:13 am for the rest of my life if I always get to hold him close to me.

I ask him all the time if he could just stop growing and stay my little boy and he always responds with the face and attitude of a knowing adult "I cant, I have to grow up but I'll always be your boy" and then I say "well okay than - I guess you can grow up."

After about 30 minutes I tell him that it is time to go back to his bed now. He quietly gets out of my bed and I tell him Ill walk with him back to his room. He and I walk back to his room where I tuck him in and tell him I love him and thank him for snuggling me. Then I go back to bed feeling like a superhero.

This morning, I ask him and he doesn't remember anything. It was mine. All mine.